It is only fitting that on Valentine's Day, I share, what is in my opinion, one of the most beautiful love letters ever written. Love of country drew men to the battlefield during the Civil War, but love of family and home drew their minds and hearts back to their home hearths. Perhaps no one more eloquently wrote of these opposing feelings, than Major Sullivan Ballou, in a letter to his wife Sarah, that he wrote shortly before the first battle of Bull Run (aka Manassas). Major Sullivan was a successful attorney before the war and had even been Speaker of the House of Representatives of Rhode Island. When the war broke out he enlisted in the 2nd Rhode Island Infantry, leaving behind his wife and 2 young sons.
The following are excerpts of the letter, which honestly moves me to tears almost every time I read it. It could have been from any soldier to any wife and children left on the home front, in any war. I can only imagine the emotions he felt when he wrote these lines, and the complete heartbreak that Sarah felt when these lines finally did fall under her eyes.
You can read the letter in it's entirety here: https://www.nps.gov/articles/-my-very-dear-wife-the-last-letter-of-major-sullivan-ballou.htm (I have read multiple versions that have slightly different wording)
Headquarters, Camp Clark Washington, D.C., July 14, 1861 My Very Dear Wife: Indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days, perhaps to-morrow. Lest I should not be able to write you again, I feel impelled to write a few lines, that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more...
I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in, the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter. I know how strongly American civilization now leans upon the triumph of government, and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and suffering of the Revolution, and I am willing, perfectly willing to lay down all my joys in this life to help maintain this government, and to pay that debt...
Sarah, my love for you is deathless. It seems to bind me with mighty cables, that nothing but Omnipotence can break; and yet, my love of country comes over me like a strong wind, and bears me irresistibly on with all those chains, to the battlefield. The memories of all the blissful moments I have spent with you come crowding over me, and I feel most deeply grateful to God and you, that I have enjoyed them so long. And how hard it is for me to give them up, and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when, God willing, we might still have lived and loved together, and seen our boys grow up to honorable manhood around us...
If I do not [return], my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, nor that, when my last breath escapes me on the battle-field, it will whisper your name... Forgive my many faults, and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless, how foolish I have oftentimes been...But, O Sarah, if the dead can come back to this earth, and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you in the brightest day, and the darkest night amidst your happiest scenes and gloomiest hours always, always, and, if the soft breeze fans your cheek, it shall be my breath; or the cool air cools your throbbing temples, it shall be my spirit passing by. Sarah, do not mourn me dead; think I am gone, and wait for me, for we shall meet again.
- Sullivan
Even more poignant than reading the letter, is hearing it read. It is beautifully read, with the song "Ashokan Farewell" playing in the background, in the famous Ken Burns Civil War documentary. You can listen to the reading of this letter in that documentary by using this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VK1KcZoDu0
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