Martha Dandridge was born to John Dandridge and Frances Jones on June 2, 1731. She was the eldest of eight children, and grew up in comfort on the large Chestnut Grove Plantation in Virginia.
Just before her 19th birthday, Martha would marry for the first time when she married Daniel Parke Custis, a man who was not only 20 years her senior, but also one of the wealthiest people in the area. Together Martha and Daniel would have 4 children. Daniel, Frances, John and Martha. However, both Daniel and Frances would die in childhood. Despite having 4 children together, Martha was married to Daniel only 7 years before he passed away in 1757, leaving her a widow at the age of only 26. As a young attractive widow, Martha enjoyed more freedom to choose her own destiny than at any other point in her life. She owned nearly 300 enslaved individuals, and had 17,500 acres of land, worth more than $40,000. Freed from strictures of coverture by her status as a widow, she had many of the same legal rights as men: she could buy and sell property, make contracts, sue and be sued in court. Yet despite this freedom, it seems that Martha did not revel in it. Although adept at managing her estate, she still considered that to be a man's role and despite the age difference between her and her first husband, theirs had been a happy marriage, and it seemed that Martha longed for that type of companionship and intimacy again. Her want for another happy marriage, is supported by the fact that within 2 years of her husbands passing, she would marry George Washington.
Martha's status as a wealthy widow certainly would have been known, and although their first meeting is lost to history, there is a good chance that Martha and George Washington had first met while she was still married to Daniel, as they would have had many acquaintances in common. The first recorded meeting of the two is on March 16, 1758 when George travelled the 35 miles from Williamsburg to Martha's home. After a second meeting on March 25th, the two began to plan their futures together. George began renovating and improving his home at Mount Vernon, and Martha placed an order for wedding finery from London, a shipment that included brilliant purple slippers and a dress that was to be "grave but not Extravagant nor to be mourning."
Their attraction was mutual, powerful and immediate. While Martha was charming accomplished and of course wealthy, George Washington also had appeal. Standing 6 feet 2 inches tall, he was an imposing man whose reputation as a military leader preceded him. Unlike her first husband, who was her senior by 20 years, Martha was actually 8 months older than George, a fact which perhaps added to his appeal. On January 6th, 1759 Martha and George were married at her home in New Kent County.
"Just as her husband realized that his every action might set a precedent for future presidents, so was Martha aware that her behavior as first lady would become the template for the wives of future chief executives."
After the American Revolution ended and George Washington walked back into his house after 8 years of being away, the last thing his wife of almost 25 years expected was for him to be drawn back into public life. In fact she wrote "I little thought, when the war was finished, that any circumstances could possibly have happened, which would call the General back into public life again...Yet I cannot blame him, for having acted according to his ideas of duty, in obeying the voice of his country." In 1789, George Washington would receive word that he had been elected the first president of the fledgling nation. Just as this news would forever alter the course of George Washington's life, it also forever changed the world of his wife, and first First Lady, Martha Washington.
In May of 1789, Martha and her two grandchildren (who she and George raised as their own children) Nelly (10) and Washy (8) and seven enslaved people set off for New York City, the temporary national capital for the new government. In contrast to the agricultural life she as accustomed to, Martha faced the unrelenting demands of social life in a big city. Each day, she was expected to dress formally, receive visitors, and make calls on important members of society. Although she upheld her duties with a calm, cheerful and dignified manner, she would tell her niece that she felt "more like a state prisoner than anything else."
However, just like her husband, Martha understood that her role would set the precedent for future First Ladies, so she was keen to set a good example, despite her personal feelings on the role. One of her most important steps was to initiate a weekly reception held on Friday evenings for anyone who would like to attend. She also started hosting a reception on New Years Day, that was open to the public. This tradition would last until the Presidency of Calvin Coolidge in 1933. These gatherings encouraged people to feel connected to their government, in opposition to the British traditions of royalty that the country left behind.
Despite growing more comfortable in her role after the capital moved to Philadelphia in 1791, she longed to return to Mount Vernon, and was likely relieved when her husband refused a 3rd term as President. In March of 1797, the Washington's finally began their return trip to Mount Vernon, for good.
Sadly, the Washington's would have only 2 and a half years together at their beloved Mount Vernon before George Washington would unexpectedly pass away on December 14, 1799. Martha's grief was almost unbearable. She closed up the room that she and George shared together, and moved into a different room in the mansion, where she spent much of her time. She was 68 years old when she was widowed for the second time, and she took solace in her family and in her faith. Just two and half years after the death of her husband, and to the dismay of her extended family, Martha Washington died on May 22, 1802, of failing health.
History books often give her little more than a footnote when discussing her husband, but in reality she did as much for the office of First Lady as her husband did for the office of President. Many traditions begun by Martha were followed by future First Ladies, just as Martha thought they would. According to Abigail Adams, wife of the vice-President, Mrs. Washington's behavior as lady made her "the object of Veneration and Respect."
If you wish to learn even more about the life of Martha Washington, mountvernon.org is a great resource. This website is run by historians at the Mount Vernon Historical Site in Virginia. They go more in depth about her role as first lady and wife of George Washington than I have space to do here. They also discuss other aspects of her life such as the time she spent at the front with George and the Continental Army during the Revolutionary War & her views on slavery. I hope this post has sparked interesting in the fascinating woman, and that you will be encouraged to learn more about her.
Resources for this post:
The book "First Ladies"
Photographs were found online, no copy right infringement intended